At a recent parenting event, Dr. Allison—mother of three and expert in digital wellness—shared valuable insights into one of the most common modern parenting dilemmas: how to manage screen time for children under the age of three.
1. Prioritize Connection Over Screen Time
Focus on forming a meaningful and close relationship with your child.
Ensure your child feels secure, heard, validated, and safe with you.
This emotional connection encourages your child to open up and come to you with any concerns or challenges they face.
A strong parent-child bond is foundational to overall well-being, both in and out of school.
2. Embrace “Less is More” – Encourage Real-World Experiences
- Especially for younger children, prioritize real-life interactions over digital ones.
- Promote hands-on sensory experiences in a variety of environments.
- These real-world interactions help develop neural pathways in the brain, which are crucial during early development.
- Too much screen time can hinder this natural growth and exploration.
3. Prioritize Active Over Passive Screen Time
If your child is using screens, make sure the time spent is engaging, interactive and age-appropriate.
Active screen time involves thinking, problem-solving, and goal-setting. When possible, sit with your child to discuss or mimic what is being shown on the screen.
Examples: Puzzle games, logic games, or watching something that leads to a creative or physical activity.
Avoid passive screen time (like mindless scrolling or just watching videos) which offers minimal developmental benefit.
The Modern Parenting Challenge
“As a mom of three,” Dr. Allison began, “I’ve navigated my fair share of parenting challenges.” She recalled relying on digital content, like Miss Rachel, to calm her daughter during flights or engage her during difficult moments. However, she also emphasized how easily screen time can go from a helpful tool to a problematic crutch.
“There came a point where my daughter was watching Miss Rachel even during mealtime. That’s when I realized I had to draw a line.”
Why Screen Use for Young Children Needs Caution
According to Dr. Allison, the first three years of a child’s life are critical for sensory development, including taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Real-life interactions in varied environments offer the most enriching developmental experiences.
“If a child is watching a show,” she explained, “the best scenario is when a parent is actively engaging with the child—talking about the content, mimicking actions, and encouraging participation. This transforms screen time from passive consumption to interactive learning.”
The Hidden Harm of Background Noise
Many parents use screens as background noise, but Dr. Allison warns this can be detrimental.
“Children need to learn how to focus and pay attention. Constant background noise interferes with this essential process,” she said. “Even during mealtimes, if a screen is on, the child learns to eat in a distracted state. In my home, mealtime is sacred—no screens allowed. It’s just family.”
Balancing Screens: Is There a Middle Ground?
Parents often ask: “Is there a healthy way to include screen time?”
Dr. Allison believes the middle ground lies in intention and interaction. Screens themselves are not inherently harmful—it’s how and why they’re used that matters.
“There’s a lot of fear and panic around screens causing a mental health epidemic,” she explained. “Yes, screens can negatively affect children, especially when used excessively or without supervision. But they’re only part of the problem.”
Other Major Contributors to Child Mental Health Issues
Dr. Allison highlighted several other stressors impacting child development today:
1. Parental Screen Addiction:
“Parents glued to their phones aren’t emotionally available to form secure attachments with their children.”
2. Academic Pressure:
“In some countries, children as young as six are pressured to perform on standardized tests—much of which is delivered through technology.”
3. Uncertain Futures:
“Children today grow up with anxiety about their future careers, even before reaching adolescence.”
What Can Parents Do?
Dr. Allison’s advice is simple yet profound:
“Put down your devices. Be present like nothing else in the world matters.”
She emphasizes the importance of quality, undivided attention between parents and children. A strong, secure attachment formed early in life is the foundation of a child’s emotional resilience and well-being.
Key Takeaways for Parents:
- Use screen time sparingly and intentionally.
- Always co-view and engage with your child during screen use.
- Avoid screens during meals and sleep time.
- Reduce use of background screens.
- Focus on secure attachment and emotional availability.
Be mindful of other stressors like school pressure and family screen habits.
Screen time doesn’t have to be the enemy. When used wisely and balanced with real-world engagement, it can even become a helpful learning tool. But the true key to raising emotionally healthy children lies in present, loving, and connected parenting.
